As a clinical psychologist who works primarily with women, I have noticed that many of my clients who struggle with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often don't realize that the symptoms can present differently in men and women. While men are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, women often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed due to the different ways the disorder can manifest.

I want to shed light on the five key differences in the way ADHD presents in men and women, with the hope that it will help more women get the proper diagnosis and treatment they need.

Hyperactivity vs. Inattention

The most noticeable symptoms of ADHD are hyperactivity and impulsivity, which are more commonly seen in boys and men. However, many women with ADHD don't fidget or climb incessantly. Instead, they usually struggle with inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization. Often they have trouble focusing on tasks, remembering appointments or deadlines, and keeping track of their belongings. Many women find ways to adjust to this limitation as young adults but find they can no longer manage effectively once they are moms, employees, etc. This can be--and often is--mistaken for laziness, lack of motivation, or even depression. It's common for women to feel this is a characteristic of their personality rather than a neurological disorder.

Emotional Dysregulation

Women with ADHD are more likely to experience emotional dysregulation than men. This means that they often experience intense mood swings, anxiety, or irritability. They may feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of daily life, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. Men can also struggle with emotional dysregulation, but women tend to notice and discuss it with me more often.

Coping Mechanisms

Women with ADHD are more likely to develop coping mechanisms to manage their symptoms. They may become perfectionists, overachievers, or people-pleasers in an attempt to compensate for their difficulties with attention and organization. This can lead to burnout and exhaustion, as well as anxiety and depression. Again, this comes into sharp focus for many women when they become mothers, when they get married, or when they get the promotion they've been working so hard for. They may feel paralyzed, unable to move forward with decisions, which contributes to the overall feeling of inability to function.

Social Interactions

Women with ADHD often struggle with social interactions, especially in group settings. They may have trouble following conversations, interpreting nonverbal cues, or regulating their behavior in ways that feel comfortable to them. This can lead to feelings of isolation, shame, and embarrassment, which can further exacerbate symptoms.

Diagnosis and Treatment

Due to the different ways that ADHD presents in women, many women go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. Women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety instead of ADHD, which can lead to ineffective treatment and continued struggles. It is essential for women to seek out healthcare providers who are knowledgeable about ADHD in women and can provide an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment plan.

It is essential to recognize these differences to get the proper diagnosis and treatment. Women with ADHD often struggle with inattention, emotional dysregulation, coping mechanisms, social interactions, and getting an accurate diagnosis. However, with the right support and treatment, women with ADHD can learn to manage their symptoms and live fulfilling, successful lives.

1. Seek a Comprehensive Assessment: The first step is to seek a comprehensive assessment from a healthcare provider who specializes in ADHD--typically a licensed clinical psychologist or neuropsychologist. The assessment should include a detailed evaluation of your symptoms, a review of your medical history, and a thorough assessment of your cognitive and behavioral functioning. This is not a basic screener but a comprehensive look at your general functioning which can not only diagnose ADHD but distinguish ADHD from other sources of daily frustration, depression, anxiety, or confusion.
2. Get a Second Opinion: If a full assessment is performed by a skilled practitioner, a second opinion isn't required, but it rarely hurts to have someone else take a look to see if they agree. This can help to confirm or rule out a diagnosis of ADHD and ensure that the most appropriate treatment plan is put in place.
3. Keep a Symptom Journal: It can be helpful to keep a journal of your symptoms to help identify patterns and triggers. This can help with the assessment process and also provide insight into the best treatment options. For women of child-bearing age, it can often help to track symptoms as well as menstrual cycles (more on this later!).
4. Consider Non-Medication Treatment Options: While medication is often prescribed for ADHD, it is not the only treatment option available. You may benefit from other non-medication treatment options, such as therapy, coaching, and lifestyle changes. In fact, even when medication is recommended, its success is often supported and increased through the exercise of these options.
5. Get Educated and Seek Support: You should educate herself about ADHD and seek support from online or in-person support groups. This can provide a sense of community and help you to better understand and cope with the diagnosis. But be careful. Especially in this age of attention-demanding social media, many individuals earn their living through spreading sensationalized and often incorrect information about ADHD and other diagnoses. The algorithm lets them know that their most successful content are the videos and essays that scare you the most. Find professionals you trust to guide you to the right support.

It is important to note that seeking a diagnosis and treatment for ADHD can be a process, and it may take time to find the best treatment plan. However, if any of the above seems to describe what you are going through, by taking these steps, you may be able to begin to get the help you needs to manage her symptoms and improve your quality of life.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/shocked-female-worker-in-modern-workplace-3791129/  Blog post authored in part by ChatGPT.